Kurosaki Ichigo ^_^x

2009-10-11T01:39:00.000-07:00

last post to this blog. goodbye.
time for a new blog.

私には甘い愛はいつもおとぎ話のようなものです
とiが存在しない場合、おとぎ話と思います。
ので、あなたの夢を毎回私が消えるように目を覚ます。

2009-10-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

jy for exams baby. though you wont be able to hear my wish. but i know you can do it. JY! XD i will pray for you.

2009-10-04T16:30:00.000-07:00

woo just back from nuh. =_= throat just nw bleed alot suppose to stay in hospital till like wed? but i told doc i feeling much better dunwan stay le. somehow manage to convince the doc to let mi go home XD. took some pics also LMAO. later den post.

2009-10-03T01:28:00.000-07:00

o.o! fk you _l_ your not even significant in my life please =). i only know you like 2 weeks? LMAO your a total joke XD

2009-10-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

heh i think its time to change a new blog xD. gonna take my own sweet time doing a new 1. ah! or maybe i just go rip skins out i guess. i'm too lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lalalalala.

2009-09-29T12:10:00.001-07:00

hehehe. my operation was a success. erm ok can say 95% lol. gt abit of smth happen though during the operation. not gonna say cause its so fking paiseh can! xD.

nw i have to suffer 2 more weeks of pain and torture. cause my throat super super pain now. i drink half bottle of green tea take like a few hrs? LOL.

heh okie now to the part of mi and fish =).

alot of ppl have been asking why am i so foolish why i'm so dumb. because i'm born that way alright?XD. but nvm luh i admit i'm dumb and foolish bo bian. =).
todae i have been recalling since day 1 i met you. the first time when i met you, you caught my attention right away. idk why dun ask mi :P and every single moment we spend tgt till now. i'm really happy and glad to know you and stead with you. when you accepted me i was really really very happy. i can feel like almost i'm the most happy guy in the whole wide world. haha i'm easily contented i guess.

but till recently u have been treating mi in a different way. your cold to me. i understand why. its mainly my fault. i admit that i'm in the wrong. most of my close frens feel that i'm sad and feeling down. they console and gave mi advice. i listen and listen but i did not choose to do it. baby u might be wondering what they telling mi to do rite? they ask mi break with you ): i kept telling them its ok de ur exam coming u kanna grounded so thats why u so cold to me. i dun mind u treat mi coldly or what.

so i thought again and again, shld i break? den i remb something that i promise you before we stead.

On 020709 nearing 4.30pm

fish i love you.
i still will love you if even 1 day your love for mi fade
and i will never break with you unless u say you wanna break with me.
i cannnot promise you i can be the best bf,
but i will try to be the best bf u every had.
if we have the chance i wanna marry you.
fish will you be my gf? ^_^x (eh i really smile like that at that time ok LOL)

you accepted me on 020709 4.30pm =)

and i hugged you tightly and say BABY I LOVE YOU!!! ok i nv shout but i said it softly in her ears heehee.

idk why i post this maybe i really miss those days when we always meet up and spend time together. i really treasure those moment and time together.

even though your love fade for mi. its ok. i will wait for ur love to be back. after your exams or even after ur trip back to hk and back to sg. i will wait for your love to come back. i will never give up unless you tell mi you dont wish to continue with me anymore.

hopefully the next time i post about baby and me its our 3rd month.
2 more days to 3rd month =)

sorry baby my love for you will never fade because your very very special to me.

2009-09-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

Throat operation tmr. hopefully everything work out. if not idk what will happen.

wish mi luck. i need it badly.

i'm never lucky though.

2009-09-23T01:36:00.000-07:00

ughhhhhhhh woke up with a terrible headache. went to wash up. i realize i look very haggard and shag. my panda eyes becoming obvious already.

sigh.

anyway found another nice song enjoy =)
best ever song to listen to when your emoing.

2009-09-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

Romaji lyrics

Kimi no kokoro he... Kimi no kokoro he
Todoke... Todoke... Todoke...
Boku no kokoro ga... Kimi no kokoro he
Todoku youni... Uta yo

Daitai itsumo doori ni
Sono kado wo magareba
Hitonami ni magire komi
Tokete kieite iku

Boku wa michi wo takushi
Kotoba sura nakushite shimau
Dakedo hitotsu dake wa

Nokotteta, nokotteta
Kimi no koe ga

Warau kao mo, okoru kao mo subete
Boku wo arukaseru

Kumo ga kireta saki wo
Mitara kitto

Nee, wakaru deshou? (Nee, wakaru deshou?)

Aimai ni ikiteite mo
Kokoro ga mijuku demo
Sore de ii hora soko ni wa
Daiji na hito ga iru

Kimi ga mayou no nara
Boku ga michishirube ni narou
Ato wa shinjireba ii

Tashikameru sube wa motta
Osore nai de

Hikari atsume sora ni hanatte iru
Kimi ni wakaru you ni
Soshite ayumu michi wo
Motto tera sou

Doko made mo... (Doko made mo... x3)
Kami�?, Koe, Kuchi�?, Yubisaki he todoke

Ima dake demo ii (Ima dake demo ii)

This love is my current favorite. =)

2009-09-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

my headache is killing me ):

pain pain pain ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

2009-09-19T03:06:00.000-07:00

i need a listening ear. anyone out there care to lend mi one?

2009-09-19T01:44:00.001-07:00

somehow i needa do something to save this.

its starting to get further apart.

2009-09-17T08:58:00.001-07:00

pain is what i'm going through now. sigh

2009-09-13T10:11:00.000-07:00

there are up and downs in life.

i wonder I'm i living in up or down in my life now.

or have i ever been through any ups since the day i was born?

i doubt so =/

i guess because I'm always feeling down in my life.

2009-09-08T05:26:00.000-07:00

everything is normal like those usual days. i'm feeling damn tired now. gonna go slp soon so gonna blog about todae before i go koon zzzzzzzzz.

went to sgh todae to check my throat, doc say must operation if not my fever will keep coming back because of my sore throat. hear liao damn sian den they ask mi aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa almost tio chock like digging in zzzzzz. anyway operation date is on 28 this mth early morning means lesser sleep time for mi again. ):

den 2nd part best ask mi whether my nose ok anot itchy mouth go say ya allergic to dust #$%^&*(){ den insert 1 tube into my nose den go all the way in can feel like smth inside my wind pipe kanna push. den quite congested den my nose also need to go for operation but havent cfm when yet ._.

anyway its only 8.30pm now and i'm feeling very tired eyes gonna shutdown soon. gonna go bath and slp already. Nites all ~

When i asked you did you missed me,
you reply no.
My heart totally sank.
I really wish that was a lie,
because i choose to believe you did missed me.

2009-09-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

its 5.38am 7sept now. just nw slept at around 2am+ or i think 3am?

sian fever still havent gone down yet. still stuck at 39.8 degrees.

alright gonna go bath and go camp le. still gt lots of stuffs waiting for mi to do.

even its just 1 sms per day from, i will be more than happy already.

2009-09-05T14:43:00.000-07:00

its 6 of sept 5.43 am now.

I'm running a fever, flu with headache right now.
I still cant get to slp even with medication. sigh

i really wish u are by my side now.

2009-09-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

my life is feeling awkward without your text.

2009-09-02T23:41:00.001-07:00

seems like i just can't get anything right now at the moment.

LOST~

2009-09-02T20:38:00.001-07:00

我没有脸面对你。

if only i had listen to you and ur words.

2009-08-29T02:40:00.000-07:00

his peaceful yet unsatisfied cold face kept flashing in my mind.

i need a shoulder badly now. without u by my side. who can i turn to?

my tears are almost used up. but it just keep rolling down my cheeks.

2009-08-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. 3.33 am and i'm still not slping lolol.

and i guess the bad part abt mi and baby is over yea? i do hope so though. hopefully~
tmr might be going or not going camp depends i guess. but for sure i gonna meet baby! XDDDDD.

shall watch Koishite Akuma episode 3 part 4 before i go slp. and thanks kayla XD
and my department getting more nsf which is gonna be lively again woo XD back to the old days.
my ord is next yr april still thinking what to do after i finish my ns. study or work or both?=/ gonna start planning already!

aaaaaaaa gonna go cont folding and watch drama le kills time actually.

oyasumi mina san GAMBETTE!

Baby I love you 020709 04.30pm <3 ^_^x

2009-08-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaa i'm so tired really tired nowadays. getting 2 to 3 hrs of slp per day.
its somehow draining my stamina out. i guess sooner or later sure die lol.
how i wish i can slp forever and never wake up from my dreams.

Baby wo hao xiang ni uh ): faster reply meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2009-08-18T10:50:00.000-07:00

baby ps for updating my blog late >< dun angry uh! *tickles*

okies lets cont with my 1st month on 020709 with my baby post.

suppose to meet baby 1+ de but she was doing something at carrie hse which was meant to be a surprise for me de. But i guess it! LOL i'm so smart, so baby dun say i dumb dumb anymore ah!.

so we met around 2 or 3+ we head over to arcade play and slack awhile den i notice baby carrying a bag den i notice hehehe must be my suprirse present for 1st mth. i kept asking her den she say nono not for u de hahahahaha. then we head over to buy tickets to watch harry potter. Omg i tell u the movie is so not nice ): but still ok luh i would rate 5/10 ending was such a turn off. =/

we went to play pool haha i kept winning XD. she was like complaining aww train harder luh baby :P. den we had dinner too. ohoh den i tried the cookies abit sweet den soft soft de because of the box she gt from carrie ._. but overall not bad la baby jy u can de XD. next time teach mi den i bake together with you ^^.

i bought her handphone strap for our 1st mth. i knw its abit cheapskate but its the thought that counts ok! hehe i shall update the pics when i get home later.

Duty in camp is like sooooo sooooo soooo boring =/ gonna rot away soon and spiderweb weaving around me ><

And Lastly baby i have words from the bottom of my heart

3 Sorry to baby ><
Baby sorry for neglecting u sometimes because i'm busy most of the time in camp and when i at home i always fall asleep without telling you and end up u wait for me to reply ur sms.
Baby sorry for not paying more attention to you when u need it.
Baby sorry for not spending more time with you because of my ns and ur tution time we had less time to spend together.

3 loves to baby *MuAcKs*
Baby without ur love i won't know how to go on in life.
Baby with your love i'm not afraid to fall and encounter setbacks in life.
Baby i wish and hope ur love for me will never change because i need ur love badly.

3 I love you to baby <3>
Baby i love you so much until i had so many dreams about you being by my side.
Baby i love you so badly till sometimes i cant sleep well :P.
Lastly Baby i never regret telling u I love you on 020709 because i hope our love will last from 020709 till we are old and our hair turn white XD.

hehe baby ps i didnt know how to tell you because i find it abit mushy so i type it out :x.

020709
Our Fate starts here and going well. ^_^x

2009-07-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

i just wanna have a peaceful life can't I?

stop fucking screwing with my life.

NS = FUCK UP.

aaaaaaaa been sick for a few days already. NICHOLAS TAN FASTER RECOVER LUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ):

And baby I MISS U ALOT! XD

I don't know what to do without u someday if your not around by my side.

I will be lost ):

1st month coming soon ^_^x

still thinking what to buy aaaaaaaaaaa.

2009-07-02T06:40:00.000-07:00

020709 4.30pm. =)

i just can't get enough of you. XD

2009-07-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

i'm so fking dumb.

sorry )':

now cannot call you already. sigh

2009-06-21T23:02:00.000-07:00

One is All
All is One

i kinda understand what I'm losing from the dream. Its just get clearer as time passes. I don't wish to know in fact. Sometimes i just wish I'm oblivion about things happening around me. But i just kept on noticing things around me. Can't help it i guess =/.

Whatever happens today. I will just accept it. Its hard somehow but i guess i will accept the truth. No matter what happens the promise is still there.

Everyday is full of surprises,
Its just whether you wanna take it as a good or a bad surprise.
I'm just not 80% lucky

2009-06-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

To find is to lose,
To lose is to find.

Had some weird dream just now. I'm holding a gun not only mi though but only minority. at some point i walked there this group of people i had to shoot down in order to proceed. And the funny part is they are on top of the playground LMAO. NO JOKE OK! plus they holding guns too omg. Saw some of my friends in there too. okie skip the boring part anyway i didn't know how that part end but i ended up in a car.

I look behind and i saw someone i can't make out who's face is it. Was on a small car too. i said something they are in danger! And poof car over turn and lying on the ground ...

I cried instantly and i woke up with tears in my eyes dripping down my cheek. Sigh. I really had enough with this kind of dreams. Losing important people in my life right in front of me. 2 is really really enough. I don't wish to lose the 3rd one in front of me already. Not in my dreams nor reality. Enough is Enough.

Sometimes life is short,
We don't have much time,
Cherish the time you have with your love ones,
But somehow i don't have the courage to get things done or face reality.

I'm still waiting for the big change in my life.

i wish to be the one and only for you.

2009-04-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

Felt so helpless and useless. i tried so hard and yet u didn't even bother to care or even show concern at all. Am i not the one for you?

I don't know what to do anymore from now on. All i wish was just a simple happy life with the one i love. Is that so hard to fulfill? I guess i will take forever to find my the other half. But still i want to try harder. Even though its only a short period of time i will try to give in all till the end. Because i don't want to have any regrets. Even its over i will tap myself and say u done your best.

lalala navy

2008-12-10T06:14:00.000-08:00

yo i'm back everyone lol. my bloggggggggg its so dead. maybe gonna revive it since i have time to post and i'm working office hour in ns nw.

and i realize its time to record things that happen in my life because life is short and fragile. if anything happen to me or whatever stuffs ppl can read about how i live my way of life, how i go through with the up and downs and scrap through it.

anyway this is my first post. gonna post alot alot of stuffs up since yea nvm LOL i tend to keep things to myself. so anyway HELLO YO WOOHOO AGAIN TO EVERYONE

KENSHIN IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-28T23:43:00.000-07:00

can't believe i actually return here and post right here. i guess here is the only place which i can post what i feel. and talk in here open out my heart and let go everything here.

i guess she left mi again, for good i guess? 1yr + same old things happen again leaving without a word. left mi there helpless, confuse, depress, in tears and in despair. why do we always have to end up this way.. i really don't know what to do anymore already.

you always leave without a word.
i wish to cry it out.
but i can't.
not because i hold back my tears
but because i tried my best to cry already
and still its still inside mi..
going crazy soon.
save mi someone out there please.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-24T16:19:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all ^_^x.

Those words you told me, i'm glad that ur happy as the way is it now.

Even you did not tell me about the 2 of you,

I will still believe in you,

Because i know you never had a change of heart before.

I wish that you will stay happy like this forever,

Because when your happy i'm happy even though i'm not someone important to you anymore ^_^x.

And sorry if i ever doubt your love for me in the past.

Because if i ever had a chance to be with you again,

I will never doubt you again.

And even christmas i can't have you its ok,

as long ur happy i'm happy.

My birthday wish is granted.

Merry Christmas to you Sweetie (Mistress Tar)

From:
Mister Cocaine ^_^x

2007-12-09T23:25:00.000-08:00

i'm back everyone...sorry was away this few days...don't ask why i wont say anyway.

just feel good to be back here.

been really slacking nowadays since sch is over, cant really find anything to do.

i been really thinking hard this 2 days. Treasure the memories? Don't want me to forget?

if all this is really fake and i'm not the true love that someone said, means all this is fake?

a fake sweet memories. i cannot believe it. its too real i know it. i don't believe she never ever
love me truthfully a single time a single min a single day.

i saw her msn nick when she sign in.i thought she wants mi back..but i was too navive.

its just her old msn nick, its was just the past nth more.

with that i shall end here. i have to stop thinking before my brain somehow explode =/.

argh painkillers medi crap can? look like a drug addict eating those.

i have to remind myself again and again,
shes gone for good already.
please you have to remb shes gone even in your sleep.
she left your life a long time ago.
i know its hurts to forget her and act as normal.
but you have to because you know your own reason.
don't risk it.
its ur last life already.
treasure it.
but my heart say likewise,
do what you want
if not dont ever regret giving up on her.
because its your last life

2007-12-07T00:24:00.000-08:00

ok i findally survive exams...
fever headache not enough slp and rest argh..
all the sickness can be release already aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..
i guess i need to rest more and start packing up.
have to prepare lots of stuff, not much time left.
what will happen next in my life i wonder.
nothing bad i guess.
i hope.........................

Without a pair of wings.

Without people to be there.

Without a hope.

can i fly?

I don't wanna fall again.

but if your back again,

i'm not afraid of falling a billion times.

Because you the one who is constantly giving me the courage to fly.

and for that i will be always protecting you from far in the dark.

2007-12-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

nv seen her online recently i hope she's ok and fine.

i saw her again in my dreams again.

just don't understand what it means.

i guess i will slowly find out the ans.

having exams later, havent study sure gonna screw everything up.

i'm not a angel i'm not a devil i'm just a normal person living in the dark.

the dark is a place which i belong,

not i choose to, not i wanted to.

but just somehow i ended up there.

私は後悔無しの永久に保護する。^_^x

2007-12-04T00:32:00.000-08:00

you didn't wanna take my life away,

but you know my life is meant for you to take away.

when you left me, you already taken my life away with you.

i find life now meaningless

because my life is with you now.

i live my life now for none.

Will you give me back my life and come back to me?

I wonder.....

I'm always a wanderer until i found you.

I have no life now...

Wandering around again without a life.

Lifeless Wanderer~

2007-12-02T04:08:00.000-08:00

yea i'm back. but sorry not with the old me.

i'm back with the new me...no strings tied to me...

i'm gonna be a new person...

a bad and wild one =)..

because i have nothing to lose now..

i live my life now on the line everyday

A Sweet Relationship started 5 Months 5 Days ago.

2007-11-23T17:49:00.000-08:00

A Sweet Relationship started 5 Months 4 Days ago.
Ytd A Sweet Relationship ended at 9.42pm.

5 Months 4 Days ago on 19.06.07 9.42pm a boy was the most happiest person on the world. When the girl agrees to be his gf, he was jumping around the room like a rabbit. He felt so happy to be with the gal he always wishes to. He love her secretly since they days they looked at each other for the first time. He was shy, he didn't dare to speak to her instead the boy talked to her friend trying to get her attention. The boy thought to himself, i think she will never love me in this life. But he did not give up. He added her ingame waiting for her to online and find a chance to talk to her. He waited and waited, findally she was online. They played a few games and started joking around both of them were laughing like no tml. By this time the boy had already started to fall really deep in love with her. But the boy is still shy about telling her his feelings. And so he kept his feelings inside him and played on. (Feb)

After that day he kept waiting and waiting but only to see the gal not online. He felt sad and asked himself, is our fate so short lived? And then he thought again no i will wait.. As the days pass by he lose hope bit by bit until he was about to give up. Was it the end? He thought in his empty mind and a single tear dropped. (Feb to mid June)

19.11.07 it was their 5 Months together. Although they never met up and celebrate the boy had a idea. He promised her before he would bring her see the stars by the beach and bring her out to had fun. But the gal replied sorry, you know i cant right? He thought never mind i know there will be a chance. Few days later the boy heard about the gal having a chalet. He asked her when is the chalet date. She answered i don't want tell u. He felt strange in a instant. He findally understand what she's trying to hint and say. He instead ignored it. And went ahead to plan for the promise he made. Because he would never break a promise made to her. He thought even if its this way at least please last it till my birthday, he shed a few tears.

23.11.07 He woke up in the morning with a smile which was grinning ear to ear. He had a dream, a beautiful dream. He had a idea hows the surprise is gonna be like. He looked up various website, asking people, using what sources he could get. He decided his plan.

He plan and think, this gonna be my first time doing this. I have to do it nice,sweet,romantic and neat. He have to get light sticks, roses and maybe a ring.

Plan: When her gf is at the chalet. He will be at the beach without her knowledge. Laying out the light sticks which form some words. A few choices came to his mind.

1)Cocaine 2) <3 3) Cocaine <3 Tar
Sweetie 1314
<3 Cocaine ^_^x
Tar

Always

He can't really decide on which to use so he wanted to think more ideas. This instant he saw his gf msn nick. Really depress. He talk to her trying to cheer her up and trying to make her laugh.
And she scolded her bf. He felt really heartbroken this time, his heart aching eyes turing reddish
tears began to roll down from his cheeks. With that he left his gf with a few words and let him gf cooldown. After awhile he thought of leaving a cheer up msg at her blog. But he saw something in her blog, something which he expect it but never so early. He began crying like a small child silently and walked into his own room sitting by his usual corner in the room hugging his own legs looking for some warm and company. In his mind now he thought, why after so many years always before his birthday this kind of things always happen. He hated it, he hate his own cursed birthday. He thought this year will be different but no, hes on the verge of breaking down. Crying like a helpless boy, the flashbacks he had with his gf flashes through his mind, the happy moments, the fun moments and other things they went and done together.
(23.11.07 9.42pm After 5 Months 4 Days this relationship ended in a heart aching way he saw it coming but never wished for.)

(Saying hello to the new Nicholas. Hi.
u come this far, wanna know why u made this decision?if u really wanna know what happen during these months u should go there.
A very well hidden place, u should know where is that.
Heres a hint : Mini place, a website.pw?its somewhere in ur room cupboard. ^_^x
if u manage to find it everything will be known to you. Because what happen since 19.06.07 will be there written down in full.)

Well hi everyone.

If u dun get what i writing above just ignore it.. Don't ask mi about it... Its just like whats is written there.Ytd night thx guys being there for mi and drinking with me. saved my ass again =).
i'm really glad to have u all as friends. really after so many yrs i found my own true tomodachis.
thx again.and btw sh sry aboutt the stupid mistake i made.though u cant read it but still gonna say it, Sorry.

Yes 5 more days to my birthday. I'm a normal person too. I have wishes i have dreams. But they never seems to come true on my birthday.

But whatever i still wanna wish:
1.Hope my Grandma eyes will be well soon after the operation she had.
2.Wish wenlong have a speed recovery.(u still have to wish mi happy bday u know ^^)
3.Spend my birthday with my Tomodachis(Friends)
4.I wish u will be there too on my birthday.(i wish i hope but i wont remb anything because i made my 5th wish already)
5.To forget the Sweet Memories that i had for now and remb the sweet memories later on. Because i love you. I don't want to be something thats blocks you from him. If i don't forget now i will be that something thats why i choose this path.
6.Thx Fiona aka silly gal being there for me.I'm ok dun worry.i will be back soon. Just promise mi when i'm back u have to tell mi what happen and why i choose this path.
7.Last but not least. Even i have a billion chance to choose again whether to love you even it hurts me alot. My answer will never change. I will love u a billion times even if it hurts me 10 billion times. Thats just how much i'm willing to suffer just to love you.

If i ever forget about you friends who visit my blog. If i ever find my way back here please tell me more about myself. I will be back soon. Because i'm gonna forget part of my memories now.
^_^x Take Care everyone.

Mister Cocaine
<3
Mistress Tar
Always.
Even if its gonna hurt me a billion times.
I will never have a second thought about not loving you.
Because my life is never gonna be complete without you.
That's just how much i love and need you.

2007-11-23T05:47:00.000-08:00

u actually use the word fk on me...

5mths 4 days u use that word on me...

i noe ur depress but sigh nvm..i really dunno what to say already...

really break my heart alot...

i feel like crying...hais.

2007-11-21T00:21:00.000-08:00

sch is boring todae...slept at 5+ am ytd,cant really get a good slp these few days..been thinking abt smth.sch like ending in ard 1 week + time so yea gonna finish up projects assignment and whatever there is left.

lets grad and leave the sch together tomodachis =).

i'm really tired nw...felt like a idiot.a idiot waiting here to get replied frm her.
yea shes always mapling mapling and more mapling though i noe but i just act as if i dunno anything...i give ways tried to talk to her and alot of stuff..but like nth gonna change..yea that feeling is back...but i will avoid thinking abt it..its just so near that feeling...

if i get really tired gonna fall asleep on the com table and start going in that world i created..its rather fun there though whatever i think of will just pop up like that.i did ever have this thought eat alot of sleeping pills slp die stay in that world forever no need wake up,because its always fun to be there rather here in the real world feeling emo depress and such emotions.

but somehow i been pulling myself back..my mind tells mi dun leave like that u have much more stuff to finish here.u have more impt things to finish.u cant just throw everything down and leave like no ppl problems..my mind always tells mi that for some reason =/

anyway 1 week more to bday.can i survive this period of time without any sufferings again?i guess,i hope so.well i dun really have a plan where to go and do what...i just leave it to fate who decides where shld i go.

i hope that day she can really accompany mi along.i dunno.i hope so i guess.i miss ur smile ur laughter and ur soft hug ur tease and ur love for mi.
can i have those back?i noe i'm selfish but love is suppose to be like that rite?hais~

anyway i think she dun really bother coming here to read anymore since like she kinda "ignored" me.but still i have to say these,

I still love you after so long,
the love that i had for you nv fades at the slightest bit.
As time passes by
i spend every min and sec thinking of you.
Because your the one that i will only love,
even its over i will take forever to forget you.
But that will be impossible,
unless i lose my memories .
Thats how much i love u and treasure u in my heart.
<3

Edit:i was bathing just now and i thought about it why i love her.
i love her because i find her special different from others gals i met in my entire life.
I have to let her have her own time, space, freedom and her own friends.
Sweetie i'm sorry :'(.i guess i findally understand now what u needed.i'm slow.
Maybe your not angry with me but forgive mi will you?Forgive mi for not being a more understanding bf.

And i guess the reasons she fell for me. Its was the old me. The cheerful me, confidence me, the joking me, the interesting me, the fun side of me. I'm not sure, i might be wrong but i think i'm half right haha.
Sweetie sorry for not thinking good enough and understanding you more.I realize my mistakes. I think thats maybe what u needed from me.The old me , the cute me the always smiling me > ^_^x
<3
190607
I findally understand the true meaning of this date.

2007-11-20T03:27:00.000-08:00

Suddendly i feel like posting now...alot of things kept in my heart and i have to let it all out..no one to talk to..to one to turn to..

i'm just alone.

but i will post in jap.

ため息、私は実際に孤独に最近感じた。に、頼る誰も回るべき誰もに話す誰も。
愛を非常に実際に知っているが、ちょうどのように私を無視する。私が余分または何かであるように。私は実際にどうしてもそのように私をちょうどいつ残すか考えることを止めることができない。私はそれの恐怖実際にである。私によってはこれができない私達ちょうど好むである愛情のあるまたは何か再度起こってほしくない。その同類はパンにすべてのあなたの注意および時間使うある。私は非常に今失われる、私がに使用し、私の誕生日がすぐに来ているように私は信任をもう持っていない。私はあなたがその日に分割したいと思う私に言っているあなたの恐怖非常にである。キャンディ実際に愛非常に。私を残してはいけない。私が10 20 をあきらめるか、またはあなたとあるために30 年間の私の生命をちょうど均等にしなければならなくても私は。この世界で何も時間を私打たないのであなたと使いなさい。そして私は私の中心および心があなたの既にであるので愛する。

findally everything is let out..i just have to wait wait and wait.

What you see maybe is not what you think
What you think is maybe is not this way
Who have the answers to my question?
That very fateful day i guess will answers all my questions.

私達は困難手の私達の手を握り、
すべてのこれらのによって行ってもいいか。
私はそう望む。私はそう望む。
うまく行けばあなたの愛は決して衰退しない。
その公正私に切望する考えること。
190607 Can we?:'(

2007-11-19T16:31:00.000-08:00

yes i having test later gonna flunk again i think..well hope nt lol...

ytd was nt a very good day in fact a bad day...now then i noe where is the line between life and death.just 1 very thin line..but.nvm haha...theres all here..

wish mi luck for the test =)

5th mth ^_^x
It started on that very day 190607 <3

2007-11-16T19:46:00.000-08:00

i guess i'm nt that impt...what did i do wrong?can someone tell mi?
i'm really falling apart.i feel really bad right nw..can someone pull mi out?guide mi along?
tell mi what to do pls someone..sweetie help :'(

2007-11-16T16:57:00.000-08:00

lately i been feeling reallly tired.i just need a break, a break from the world around me.i dunno i think i have been trying very hard, i dunno why its just that way, i cant explain it nt sure for what reason.

but whatever the reason is i hope i can find out sooner or later.because i just dunwan to hang in there for nth no reason like a lifeless person..someone guide mi pls?=(

yea my classmate overall getting better except for some details.i think maybe i wanna quit smoking but i cant do it alone i just cant.i need to try harder really hard.

sunday is our 5th mth...i wonder she noes anot i hope so.i noe she will remb..=)

To Sweetie:
私は逃す。
私は愛する。
私は抱き締めたいと思う。
私はあなたの抱擁を逃す。
私は私達の夢が本当私達の生命将来一緒に来ることを望む。(figure out urself ^_^x)
5th mth 190607
<33

Edit: heh 5th time trying to type jap so might be abit wrong =p

2007-11-07T01:57:00.000-08:00

yo mina san..

ok todae sch kinda sian but as usual go for lessons and monster hunter as well.but only awhile T.T

den went vivo to collect smth frm sharon...bth her =.="

pls ah sharon act more like a gal can?LOL..ur so rough!
and damn i dunwan go vivo alone anymore can!!!so freaking big and lost my way twice before finding my way to mrt zzzzz

anyway tonight gonna ton at hy hse hohoho hunting monsters all the way tonight!
monoblos heart u better let mi hunt T.T

and yes tml public holiday pri must be so happy LOL!
and ya tml got a so call family outing and going out to eat nt sure where yet though..

bday coming soon lots of stuff to do and buy alot alot alot..

ok stop here ba before anyone complains i'm too naggy ~_~

i miss u alot u noe sweetie =(
i wanna see u soon
can i?sigh~
<3

2007-11-05T01:01:00.000-08:00

cool some random person add my msn...
and i delete tt person =.=
right nw only like 10 ppl on my new msn...

i dunno whos tt but 1 thing for sure tt person noe alot abt my past and present...
whats all the shit u told mi?my past my present my future?
u told mi i dun have a past i dun have a future?i only can live for my present life?
wth is tt suppose to mean?god damn u...i have a freaking past i have a freaking present and of course i have a freaking future if nt i will be dead nw...
i can remb everything clearly frm my past i grew up that way and this is what i am..what u mean i choose to be this way and i can end up in another way wtf u talking seriously..dun confuse mi ok...i noe what i have been doing this 19 going 20 yrs of my life..
u think ur better that u can judge my whole life?and whoever this is i dunno how u noe so much abt my life and what i have been doing all these years...but for god sake stop like confusing my mind or ruin my life nw...

i have a sweet gf who i love alot
i have tomotachi that i had fun wif
i have families who care for them although i dun show it out.
so please spamming craps in my msn again with another account..
fk u...u ruin my freaking day...zzzzzzzz

5th mth is near
sry i nv thought abt ur timing *kinda forgot and got pulled away*
gonna think of stuff to suits ur timing
<33 Mistress Tar
^_^x

2007-11-04T22:44:00.000-08:00

boo stomache for todae...T.T..

ppl out there reading my blogs pls dun like O.O ok, i really wanted to go sch..change bath style hair going sch den stomache zzz...but bo bian stomach dunwan let mi go hohoho...anyway ytd my aunties cousins came den like crapping wif my cousins and smoking LOL...anyway my bday cominggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg...so presents xDD..but whatever nt like got alot of ppl reading my blog lol..

guess really nth much to say
tata~

Sweetie if u come in tag my blog ok!!><

2007-11-03T02:13:00.000-07:00

ytd night had fun...but i kinda screw up the urgent quest...sry tried my best...came hm at 8+ feeling very shag but still manage to watch my anime before going to slp...

actually have plans tonight for hunting again manage to find a place but my uncle had to ruin again and again..i really dunno what to say...so plans cancel...no choice i guess..

recently i feel ignored by her..i dunno why maybe shes busy or its always been like that..nt really sure abt it but really felt ignored maybe more like i'm nt tt important to her..but still i try not to think about it..somtimes i'm really scare suddendly she leave mi again..
i dunwan that feeling again.i really hate it,the feeling of losing someone u love.its really terrible,its like myself drop into the endless pit and floating there bit by bit of ur body leaves u and shatter into pieces and u cant pick them back...its just that terrible..

i guess i have to get use to it being ignored by her..just wish that i can get random sms from her..
i would be happy enough that she at least bother to sms mi..

i fear u would leave mi again
what can i do,i'm not sure
but i still will smile for my and your sake
i guess nothing much can be done
but 1 thing for sure i still love you

emoing day~

2007-11-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

whee shes back xD...

i guess she enjoyed herself even the trip sound kinda bad to mi...

gonna have phase test later =.= gonna flunk again i guess..

nth much to post...oh and yea maybe gonna ton this sat again for our hunting !! xD

i'm glad ur back in 1 piece =x
i missssssssss u xDDDD
<33>

2007-10-31T00:05:00.000-07:00

been really lazy to blog..u noe everyday same old cycle happen go sch come back use com go fren hse till 4 5am+ slp late for sch and its start again...but i still enjoy sch but its ending soon so yea gonna treasure my time together wif my tomotachi(friends)..and yea clement bday coming up MY TOO! and hy of course lol..

and tml my sweetie is back frm sch trip cant really wait for her to be back..really miss her alot alot alotttttttttttttttttttttt...spam*
5th mth is coming up soon,time really flies...but still i treasure the times with u...really i swear ^_^x

guess nth much more to post...gonna dota and monster hunter 2 more!!!hohoho

ja mina.

I Love My Mistress Tar
I Just Need You Because Your My Drug =x

xDD

2007-10-25T02:34:00.000-07:00

mina tadaima!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm back xDDD...
still feel kinda numb here and there but overall its a sucess xD.
nw i slp gonna lie on my face and slp =.=" later no oxygen dead LOLOL.
so anyway feels kinda normal nth much so yea gonna get more rest if nt doctor nurse nag nag nag.gonna save battery for laptop.

ja na ~

when i'm deep in sleep, i see u in my dreams.
i saw u making a sad face.
but then dun worry i will be there soon.
just awhile more,
i will be there for you again.
i won't let u feel lonely again,
i promise ^_^x
i will shower u with all my love,
and make you feel the bliss of our love.
Because real love stories never have endings.

^_^x

2007-10-24T03:21:00.000-07:00

hi MINI SAN!! ni hao xD...yes i'm blogging again after so longggggggggggggg...hohoho...
ok events for todae

gonna go my classmate bday celebration later so yea hmm going to yishun wif them...
gonna monster hunter 2 MORE!!!
and yea pack up some clothles and stuff for tml staying in hospital ><>

to Priya: tc of her for mi alright?i will leave up to u, make sure she dun get bullied xD *grins*

to Sweetie: I will go into a deep deep sleep and ponder what should i not do to make u angry again ><.I miss u xD..i hope u miss mi too..i will be back to pass u jack dun worry ^_^x

sry sweetie =)...

shld be back by fri or sat lastest xD...

ja na mina ^_^x.

One day you will realize how much i really love u...

>.<

2007-01-21T22:04:00.000-08:00

heyo everyone i'm back or erm i mean half back haha =x...i pon sch todae again...nth much to do at hm except audi and more audi...well i'm lvl 18 already fast rite?=p...i gonna be 19 soon anyway...well i went for event and i nv get in the final rounds >.<...damn it man last 2 try was totally fuck up...vs all the pros =.="...but nvm it was a good game though...hope they come out wif beat up =D...and i will be ard trashing ppl hohohohoho =x...i'm so evil suddendly...blah nvm who cares....anyway lets mi post what u all been waiting for... MY BEAT UP SCORE!!!!!! =x

and no miss flying duck score =p

well tts all for now...anyway enjoy the music =x....

2006-12-14T20:10:00.000-08:00

since a long time i nv blog...

been rotting at hm nowadays nth much to do except auditioning and playing ff12...recently been playing ff12 more than audi...got a feeling wanna quit audi...sigh~ i'm so bored feeling down and useless...dunno really noe what to do le...i guess i made the wrong step...stupid mi nv think of anything and chiong right into in..i guess tts mi...mon having guild bbq shld i go?=.="dun feel like going but i feel like going too...ARGH!!!!!!!!! i'm so messed up...BRAIN WORK PROPERPLY PLSSSSSSSSSSS....damn fuck wtf is wrong wif mi...nvm forget it....

i guess i have to bring myself back together again...if not i'm a goner...

even if i can't be the same as him or replace him...
but i do love u...even i can't be with you...
i will be there when you need me...

....

2006-12-05T19:34:00.000-08:00

nth much to update actually later on going chalet wont be at hm anyway...anyway take a look at my audi beat up score...not tt good though...

...

2006-11-03T22:19:00.000-08:00

hi everyone...ok my blog is like dead?who cares....whatever...

anyway i seriously hate my life now...nth is like going my way...everything i do fail and fail and fail...i feel like i'm on the verge of falling down the cliff...1 or 2 step more i can feel it..it will be over...i just need a damn break frm everything my life my sch my home everywhere...i just wanna be alone....i really cant take it anymore...i'm really going nuts soon...i feel like breaking down soon anytime...i really just wan be alone...is tt very hard........

tired!!!!!!!

2006-11-01T02:47:00.000-08:00

so long nv blog already...all of u happy to see mi blog again?=p...ok i shall blog abit...

ytd watched deathnote with fren...the show quite nice...damn those ppl who say not nice lol...anyway if u havent watch i jie shao u watch the anime frm esp 1 to 4 first...so when u watch the movie u will understand the show...the show and anime got quite a number of things are different...anyway its a nice show la...its a must watch!!

so abt todae...woke up at 5.30 left hse ard 6.30...guess what?!!!i have duty at simei ite -_-"...den saw alot of frens most of them change alot...quite fun la the whole thing but damn tired....so went to explore the sch abit here and there...its sooooooo big...

ok tts all for ytd and todae...lazy to blog lol...ok tc ppl...^_^x

Boring~~~~

2006-10-25T07:57:00.000-07:00

ok todae is a fucked up + boring day...i dunwan say much but its just 1 bloody bad day for mi to do anything and guess what?i cant slp early and i cant use the com soon...so its like wtf?anyway tml hopefully can be hm early to audition to beat tt fren of my..gonna practice hard for it...anyway nites world...gg to slp now...

oh before i go offline i remb this thing again...

memories in the rain...

if i were the rain,
that binds together the earth and the sky,
who in all eternity will never mingle...
would i able to bind the hearts of people together?

once again nites ppl...
oyasuminasai~~~~~

Hello Mina san ^_^x...

2006-10-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

ok todae i not gonna attend sch because i sick!!!!!!!!damn got fever flu...i'm feeling so darn terrible...i feel like i gonna tear myself apart...ok its abit over...anyway i gonna play wow soon....hohohoho...yea anyway nth much to blog....bye ^_^x

lalalala~~~~~~~~

2006-10-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

ok its 6.15 in the morning...just finish hacking in maple zzz...not my char is other ppls...anyway blog for fun nth to do...blog abit before i slp...anyway mon gonna start sch i dunno how to go and adjust my slping time again zzzz...sure gonna be late for mon class...anyway bb ciao...nites to myself morning to the rest of the ppl ^_^x...

Time~~~

2006-10-10T17:46:00.000-07:00

yoyo i'm back...since so many ppl ask mi blog might as well blog...

ok lets talk abt last week...

last week went chalet together wif my classmates to aloha changi chalet...the chalet is like damn blog...got like 4 toliets 3 bedroom 1 big living room...1 bbq pit outside...but quite dirty inside lol...crawing wif ants and all tt..so the whole chalet was like playing kof 99,majhong,drinking whisky,playing wif cards...oh i went to och too...i look frm far the whole place damn eerie and mysterious...but still we went in...i got like stun 2 3 times lol..dun ask mi how and why...its a secret...but nv see any ghost sad...

so next week mon is back to sch time again...been busy these few days sry everyone too lazy to blog...anyway good luck to all my sec sch frens having exams...

2 months is a short time to do everything i wan to...but i guess i will have to accept it...
life is like tt...
time will not stop,
time will not wait for anyone,
time will still pass by even we cry,feel sad or happy...
But memories are precious...
treasure them and smile at the last moment before leaving...

p.s.
i noe u been a great fren and mei to mi for the past 3 yrs...
but pls somthings i just wan to do it my way...
like i said dun tell anyone means dun...
so dun interfere thx...
good luck for ur exams too...

i'm back ^_^x

2006-08-31T22:14:00.000-07:00

hello ok so many ppl ask mi update den i shall but a short one...ok ytd was teachers' day celebration so i went to sch and back to my sec sch...saw alot of teachers and friends...everyone getting more pretty and handsome lol...den i saw her i was like dunno to say hi or what but nvm...i nv said hi to her at all so kinda sad but nvm ba i'm happy to see her again...i guess shes doing all well and fine in poly...oh todae going east coast park i just remembered -_-" gtg

ciao...

When somthing is missing its hard to retieve it back
Treasure it before u lose it rather den u start to regret...

sigh~

2006-08-03T05:11:00.000-07:00

sry not blogging these few days dun really have the mood and tired...i guess when i feel better i will blog again...i just need to start thinking abt my future already...anyway ciao~

I come with the wind and go with the wind...

2006-07-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

yo i'm back...lazy to blog nowadays dam tired after sch and all tt...and yea timeable is fuck up all everyday end so late 4 to 5+ dam sick of it...anyway really feel sick these few days...having flu and having fever...faster heal plssssssss god dam it i wan to fee better again....anyway ytd kinda use up alot of my brains cell zzzzz...but nvm its helping tt person afterall...

Love is a very strange feeling....
Somtimes u cant explain by words nor gesture...
Love cannot be measure or explain by words...
If love can be measure or explain by words...
Its not true love...
Well what is love?
Love is the most wonderful thing in this world...

sick zzzz

2006-07-21T18:09:00.000-07:00

yeah had bbq ytd and ton the whole night...had lots of fun...well damn my friends lol..cook half ready nia...i'm still the best in cooking hohoho...cripsy chicken wings =p...yea den had a very very bad flu...think someone cursing mi lol...gonna get some rest nites...ok its 9.09am lol...

(=

2006-07-19T23:21:00.000-07:00

sch gonna start on mon gonna enjoy while i can...tml bbq yup...think i will take some pics haha...anyway dun think will be blogging for these few days...je na ^_^x

back to sch

2006-07-19T00:59:00.000-07:00

yea i'm back in sch for my student council investure rehearsal...was kinda bored and sleepy since i did even catch a short nap...been having the same weird dream during the past few nights...hope i dun have it again todae zz...i guess tts all for now...lazy to go into details...

anyway je na...

FUCK!

2006-07-18T07:38:00.000-07:00

dun give mi hope when u want to take it away...why bother to do tt?i'm already depress so stop fucking give mi hope and leave without a word...2yrs back its the same now also...wth did u go...

boring =.="

2006-07-18T06:21:00.000-07:00

todae is a boring day nth much to blog was at home the whole day facing my ps2...bored rite...fri having class bbq looking forward to it...hope its fun....

Skill of the day of Kurosaki Ichigo

Getsuga Tenshou aka
The Moon Fang Slice Heaven

zzzzz

2006-07-17T03:28:00.000-07:00

god i going mad already...i'm been trying to clear mission 40 but i cant take mi 2 nights already!!!!...anyway my blog song is still fuck up...nvm hack care already...

ciao

Message of the day:

memories in the rain

if i were the rain
that binds together the earth and the sky,
who in all eternity will never mingle
would i able to bind the hearts of people together?

=/

2006-07-16T06:55:00.000-07:00

yea made a decsion gonna conceal myself soon...i guess soon when the time comes...

kill mi pls...

2006-07-16T04:48:00.000-07:00

i somtimes cant help telling myself life is so suxy and boring...can someone just like freeze mi for a few century or kill mi pls...i beg u anyone just do it...i gonna go mad...i guess i gonna ton soon i need to get out of here my hse my room frm anything...

=.=" tired

2006-07-16T00:46:00.000-07:00

yup got my kof xi ytd...some of u might be thinking what is tt nvm its a game tts all...anyway been training the whole night for it manage to pull off some crazy combo...k la not tt crazy just above average combo tts all...been playing frm 12+ to 7+ and wanted to go on ba i guess i catch some slp...now sitting infront of the com abit in a daze but nvm i will be awaken abit later anyway gonna go take my brunch already tata =)..

YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2006-07-15T00:40:00.000-07:00

VERY BORED AH!!!!!I NEED MY KOF XI!!!!!!...damn it i gonna go all the way to bukit panjang to get my kof xi...damn tt clementi shop nv open for days...fuck!!!ok nvm gonna cool down abit -_-"...just woke up ard 2pm+...so tired my sleeping time is so screwed up...i'm a night owl already -.-"..anyway nth much to blog todae so i guess i will blog later or tml

Why are we born into this world?
To suffer?
To have fun?
To taste all kinds of hardship?
Or have ur name record in history and be famous?

-_-"

2006-07-14T03:25:00.000-07:00

why so many ppl sick nowadays?sigh~damn theres somthing in my stomach been messing ard...ok nvm like i care as long as no pain is inflicted to mi =D...yea miho btw go see a doc ur not gonna die ok?u die i also will go make noise until u wake up haha...

after reading yun blog i felt tt frm when i was young till now...i always felt somthing in mi or rather ard mi somthing is missing i can feel it recently but its quite a faint feeling...i think i would put it this way quote frm Kingdom Hearts 2 "A scattered dream that's like a far off memory.A far off memory that's like a scattered dream.I want to line the pieces up."...yea i do wanna find it and line it up...but i cant....anyway yun hope my words can enlighten u =x...k i not so smart just my 2cents...

oh ya my blog music not working again argh i going to go mad!!!...dam i going mad already argh...think i will solve it asap...i guess tts all for now tata...oo btw pic of the day =D

Uchiha Sasuke
I love his hair nvm gonna style it soon =D

Getting bored nowadays =.="

2006-07-13T00:28:00.000-07:00

btw found this pic quite nice frm bleach manga tt i download...yea its getting bored nowadays...nth much to do...been rotting around at hm...luckily ytd went out wif wenlong and alfred had dinner....plan to watch movie but think again nah so went to play pool...i thought alfred dunno how to play but NO!! DAM IT!!! he won mi...lols ok i not so pro also...den after finish pool plan to stay over at my hse or either alfred hse but since todae we going out decided not to stay over...

ytd slept damn early...was actually forcing myself to get to slp...since i'm lazy to play ps2...

i guess nth to blog abt todae since its too early...

Signing Off~
Nic ^_^x

Rainy Day

2006-07-11T02:00:00.000-07:00

nth much to do todae...just feeling bored and wanted to create a blog lol...k its lame...guess tts all for now...